Lingerie for Comfort of All Things

The spectrum: Sexy lingerie from demure to in-your-face $29.50-$58 at www.victoriassecret.com

With a dip in the markets as low as an unlucky 777 ;(, chances are you and the love of your life might be trading those nights on the town for a little more at home romance. So, utilize those XM channels and IPODS, mix up a couple drinks and don't forget the most important element, a sexy outfit. In an earlier blog, Romancing the Stone, I wrote that not every woman feels comfortable in lingerie, but she should. Like choosing any otherpiece of clothing, staying true to your style, and being conscious of your body (playing up what you like, playing down what you don't), when choosing lingerie is important. Consider things like underwire for support, what underwear shapes look good on your bum, and what silhouette fits you best (flyaways, babydolls, slips?). If you're more conservative in your style of dress or maybe don't feel that comfortable displaying too much skin, teddys, slips, and bustiers are nice. Especially now, with a lot of vintage 50's and 60's inspiration permeating through fashion, demure lingerie is in very high demand. If you're more daring in your fashion approach or love putting your body on display try lacy merrywidows, styles that have cutouts, or a bra/panty combo. Remember confidence is sexy...if you're in an outfit you don't feel comfortable in, you won't look confident or sexy no matter how much skin is showing. Reflect your sex appeal in the lingerie you choose and you'll be effortless ;)...Its nice to explore outside your own box when you're comfortable in your style of lingerie. If you usually choose soft romantic shades like pastels, nudes and whites...get racy in darker tones like black or navy. Once you start feeling comfortable dressing up, if you don't already, you'll find out how much more fun it is to play dress up ;). Flip the coin on these harsh times and look at the bright side, an intimate at home evening with your man in an outfit that he'll love u in....and you'll probably love yourself in more;)...can be really nice...LOVE!!!

I wasn't kidding about the XM Channels ;)!!! If you have satellite radio or your cable provider provides XM or music channels like it...take advantage! Set the tone for the evening by escaping into one of the exotic music channels and a lot of candlelight. My favorites are channels 843 Suite 62, and 872 Caliente ;)...Good music and lingerie go hand in hand...at least I think so ;)....LOVE!!!!

Celebrating your Assets and Embracing your Flaws: Post Baby

My bestie Shana, beautiful & confident 2 kids later!

Having a child is definitely a life changing experience. Not only are you adjusting to your new lifestyle, but all the physical changes that come along with. After the birth of my second baby Chase I was VERY unhappy with all the changes that took place with my body. Luckily for me, I was fished from the gene pool where post baby weight just falls off, but after Chase's arrival I was unhappy with EVERYTHING about myself, even my weight. My girl Shana and I were going through the same things around the same time (both our kids are literally the same ages) and we both came to realize how those imbalanced hormones can make you feel about your self image, and as long as they inhabit your body your self esteem may suffer. But together we found there ARE ways to appreciate and love yourself flaws and all...

• Celebrate the changes you love-Enjoy your fuller more womanly figure if you were thinner before. Appreciate the thicker healthier hair and nails that came along with your baby. Pregnancy does bring on some positive and welcomed changes. Discover what yours are and display them with pride.


• Be Active & ProActive- The leading complaint from women post-baby is, you guessed it, they've gained too much weight gain and have problems shedding the pounds. Keep your body moving and get up and move around. Exercise with all your new baby gadgets and go for lots of walks with your little one. You won't lose if you don't exercise so stay as active as possible while of course taking your health and post-partum healing process into consideration. MAKE a plan and STICK to it. Its YOUR physical appearance so be proactive in getting it to where you want it to be. If you were lucky enough to not have issues with your weight post baby, lucky you! But you should still stay active to remain healthy and in shape. A lot of women actually start gaining once the hormones exit their system or upon starting a new contraception- so stay as fit as possible!


• Embrace your baby boobs- They may have gotten dramatically bigger or even smaller. Either way be proud of what you have NOW. Take advantage of clothing styles you may not have been able to before. If your breasts are bigger now try more curve hugging blouses that accentuate your womanly figure; if your breasts are smaller try more fashion forward pieces that celebrate a smaller bust.


• Know the Power of Water- Its a natural system flusher, a water weight shedder, a skin clarifier, and an evacuator of those annoying and causative pregnancy hormones. Drink as much water as possible post-baby; it really helps.


• Love the Person in the Mirror- Skin issues are another post-partum problem that affects a lot of women. During the pregnancy of my eldest son Mason, my face was ravaged by Acne. Unfortunately until all the hormones left my system my face and neck never cleared up. But what I did, and what you should try to, is to stay on top of your skin. It may not clear up right away, but you want your skin to be in the best condition when it does. Stick to a skincare routine and visit a dermatologist if you feel you really need to. But just try to wait it out, and don't pick or aggravate your face; you don't want acne scars later.


• Deal with your Stretch Marks- A lot of women complain about the appearance of stretch marks after the birth of their children. What are they? Actual tears in your skin as a result of a dramatic stretch. Genetics play a role in just how severe you will get them, but moisturizing with Vitamin E and Cocoa butter during and after your pregnancy can really help. What do you do if you have them? Embrace them and look at the beauty from which they came. You birthed a child and had a battle with pregnancy...so you have a couple scars. If you can't learn to deal with them or maybe even love them, you can try topical creams to try and fade them. Stri-Vectin is a popular brand that has been around for years. However a lot of people I know that have used it say they can't get results on African-American skin. But this new cream, Trilastin-Sr, is supposed to show results on ANY skin type. Check out this link to see what its about http://www.ecresearchcorp.com/SearchResults.asp?Cat=33&FiliAff=1794&Click=30657&gclid=COCeos294JUCFQTEGgodNAdAZA

• If all else fails look at your baby- After all its not about you anymore. Whether its for motivation & inspiration or just to draw comfort and joy from another source, look at your baby and be happy. Don't spend too much time dwelling in depression about your physical appearance; it takes valuable time away from bonding with your baby. At the end of the day you've acquired another beauty in motherhood.

Remember to give yourself some time. It took nine months for your bundle of joy to grow. Things won't change over night. Its natural to feel a little unhappy about your physical appearance after the birth of your child because after all you have changed. Don't compare yourself to the person you used to be. You ARE a different person NOW; move forward and be happy. Being happy with yourself is important to the relationship you're building with your new baby and your mental state as well. Remember, if you ever feel resentment towards your baby or are feeling REALLY depressed don't ignore these emotions. They could mean you're suffering from PPD & need to speak to a doctor before it gets worse. Spend the time after you've given birth loving and enjoying your baby and accepting who you've become. Don't sweat the things you can't change and devote time to working on the things you can and want to. EVERY woman is beautiful and mothers are ESPECIALLY beautiful...celebrate in just that...LOVE

Having the blues after baby is normal-PPD is not. What's the difference? Check out this link to find out http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/postpartum.htm

The Quarter Life Crisis: Let's Talk About It

You've probably heard about Freedman's dilemma, if you or someone you know hasn't already experienced it first hand, but its the Quarter Life crisis and its the identity crisis of the new age. Identity crises aren't just characterized by your sterotypical 40 something male parading his vitality around in an expensive sports car. Think mid to late twenty somethings and early 30 year old's struggling with their lives' defining questions and issues. Who am I? Where am I going? Is it time to commit? Am I on pace with my career? With matriomy and parenthood becoming more prominent and even more attractive in these age brackets, men and women alike are getting swept up in this wave. I've definitely dealt with it; feeling rushed to maturity and responsibility by way of motherhood and marriage while longing for the freedoms and excitements of youth. How do you deal with being pulled in two different directions? The answer for everyone is different, but here are a few thoughts I think can help in the quest:

1. Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is a choice- There comes a point in time when there are just more important things in life than getting wasted every weekend with your friends (among other things). We may not want to grow up but we have to if we want to live full lives in the future. Accept the fact that changing and maturing is a part of a healthy life cycle. Don't stagnate your life by dwelling in your youth...definitely enjoy it as much as you can, but get a perspective on just how long its going to last. Growing up doesn't have to mean being or having less fun. It just means being and acting responsibly.
   
2. Deal with yourself first- We all have internal struggles and issues that we deal with. They can be an inability to trust, narcisissm, unwillingness to commit, self doubt...the list goes on and on. Try to get them in check before you dive into the relationships of the real world. Being happy with who you are comes with knowing who you are, and the things within in yourself that could use a little work. In life you are always part of a whole, be it in the workplace, in a relationship, in a friendship etc. Make yourself the best person you can be and the rest will fall into place.
   
3. Get serious about the people you date if you're not already in a relationship- At this point in time any realtionship you engage in is a serious one. Why? Because it is a consumer of time, and time is of the essence now more than ever. If you realize something is a waste of time...don't waste yours. Empty prospects who aren't on the same page as you only hold YOU back. Don't waste the most valuable years of your life on nothing.
   
4. Take charge of your life and put the plan into action.-Prioritze, prioritize, priortize. Some things that were once rulers of your world will now have to take a backseat. Focus on what it is that YOU want out of life and make provisions to get those things rolling. It may mean taking time away from friends, recreations and other things and focusing your attention elsewhere, but in the end you have to think in the long term. Be responsible when it comes to things like your credit, your spending habits, and your dealings with the opposite sex. The decisions you make in this pivotal time are important.
   
5. Don't be afraid to commit- Marriage or commiting in a relationship doesn't mean sacrificing your youth. It just means you've found someone worth sharing it with. Stay youthful by keeping up with friends and activities you love, going out and enjoying life. Commitments should enhace your life not take away from it.
   
6. Settling down is cool. Settling is not.-Not everyone will find the love of their life by age 25, but if you do...great. Good men and women alike are scarce in today's world. So if you find one that you love and share's your game plan...hold on to them. Remember never sacrfice your goals and dreams for the sake of being with someone. We all have pre-existing plans for our lives, that may be compromised by the curveballs of life. But essentially hold on to all the aspirations you have for your life and don't settle down until you found someone who's supportive& cool with the road you're traveling...no matter how long it takes!
   
7. Branch Out- While you may feel like those long standing friends of yours know you inside and out...alot of what you don't even know about yourself is revealed through the new people you meet. Open up your mind and start branching out. Its amazing how much self discovery you'll do when you meet people from different walks of life. Its also healthy to be around people with different views and opinions, and motivated people who are gonna encourage you to move forward in life.
   
8. Be true to you- Nothing great in life has ever been done by a follower. Lead YOUR best life. Hold on to the things you've always wanted to accomplish, and navigate life with this focus. No one wants a better life for you than YOU (and maybe your parents ;). Make YOU and YOUR life a top priority now. The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter won't mind.

Set realistic goals for yourself and stick to them. Life is definitely not easy and there will surely be more roadblocks to come. Know what you want and what it is you want from this world. Grab the reigns and conquer life!!! You've only got one to live....LOVE

Visit this website http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/ for more info on just what the Quarter Life Crisis is and alot of helpful advice and resources to help you get focused!!!!

Celebrating Your Assets & Embracing your Flaws

Lisa showing off her gorgeous legs in black shorts

When you're drowned in a world of seemingly perfect beauties, e.g. those Kardashians, Lauren Londons, and Angelina Jolies, the feeling of comfort in your own skin can be a very flighting one. But once you realize that NOONE is perfect, that perfection is just an illusion and that some illude better than others, accepting yourself and LOVING yourself will come naturally. Alongside that will come a new confidence that will enhance your beauty. EVERY woman is beautiful in her own way, and EVERY woman also has flaws and faults. Get in touch with things about yourself you feel you could work on, and in the interim acknowledge your best qualities and play them up. My bestie Lisa definitely embraces the killer legs she inherited, and guess what? Everyone else takes notice of them too. (She literally ALWAYS gets complimented on her gams when we're out.) She plays them up and draws attention to them by displaying them in shorts, short skirts and thigh grazing dresses. She's shown me that the universal display of beauty and sexy is cool confidence...Check out these tips to help give you a boost

• Don't be your own worst enemy. Instead of downing yourself and dwelling in your flaws, pick yourself up by basking in your good qualities whatever they may be. Choose one or as many things about yourself that you love and play them up.
  
• Step outside of the Superficial Realm of what qualifies your beauty. There was once such a thing as a beautiful mind, beauty in a woman's stride, and in the sound of her voice. Dig deeper than the "skin-deep surface." Also, embrace the qualities about yourself that make you unique. My girl Lisa also has some of the most unique eyebrows I've ever seen, and she's never waxed them to change their shape. They add so much beauty and character to her face, and once again they always get noticed! Physicality and classic cookie cutter beauty are just fractions of the beauty pie; explore outside of them.
  
• Don't buy the hype of print and media. No one looks the way they do on the cover of a mag. Remember that you're a REAL person so try not to be so hard on yourself. Give yourself some credit by not comparing yourself to other women especially celebrities.
  
• Stay beautiful inside. Don't hate on another woman because of her attributes. Ugliness ALWAYS shines through from within. If you're happy, confident and secure within yourself that will peek through the surface, and that's always beautiful. Wishful thinking for ourselves is a healthy, natural human emotion...envy is not. No matter how much MAC concealer you paste on your face...green is a very hard color to camouflage ;). There is absolutely NOTHING beautiful about hate and jealousy...they are weak emotions that only MAGNIFY your flaws.

Like anything else, feeling good about yourself if you don't already will take some time. You've got to build up your confidence level and let go of all those negative feelings you once had about yourself. Accept the things about yourself that are unchangeable. Some things you may not be happy with but are out of your control. Don't beat yourself up about them, focus your attention on bettering your other qualities. Put on a pair of "rose-colored" spectacles when you're self evaluating. If you take a picture EXPECT a beautiful one when you review it. Pessimistic expectations can cloud your self image. Be positive, be confident and be YOU and your beauty will be blinding...LOVE

Look for my upcoming blog about Celebrating Your Assets & Embracing Your Flaws- Post Baby