The Quarter Life Crisis: Let's Talk About It

You've probably heard about Freedman's dilemma, if you or someone you know hasn't already experienced it first hand, but its the Quarter Life crisis and its the identity crisis of the new age. Identity crises aren't just characterized by your sterotypical 40 something male parading his vitality around in an expensive sports car. Think mid to late twenty somethings and early 30 year old's struggling with their lives' defining questions and issues. Who am I? Where am I going? Is it time to commit? Am I on pace with my career? With matriomy and parenthood becoming more prominent and even more attractive in these age brackets, men and women alike are getting swept up in this wave. I've definitely dealt with it; feeling rushed to maturity and responsibility by way of motherhood and marriage while longing for the freedoms and excitements of youth. How do you deal with being pulled in two different directions? The answer for everyone is different, but here are a few thoughts I think can help in the quest:

1. Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is a choice- There comes a point in time when there are just more important things in life than getting wasted every weekend with your friends (among other things). We may not want to grow up but we have to if we want to live full lives in the future. Accept the fact that changing and maturing is a part of a healthy life cycle. Don't stagnate your life by dwelling in your youth...definitely enjoy it as much as you can, but get a perspective on just how long its going to last. Growing up doesn't have to mean being or having less fun. It just means being and acting responsibly.
   
2. Deal with yourself first- We all have internal struggles and issues that we deal with. They can be an inability to trust, narcisissm, unwillingness to commit, self doubt...the list goes on and on. Try to get them in check before you dive into the relationships of the real world. Being happy with who you are comes with knowing who you are, and the things within in yourself that could use a little work. In life you are always part of a whole, be it in the workplace, in a relationship, in a friendship etc. Make yourself the best person you can be and the rest will fall into place.
   
3. Get serious about the people you date if you're not already in a relationship- At this point in time any realtionship you engage in is a serious one. Why? Because it is a consumer of time, and time is of the essence now more than ever. If you realize something is a waste of time...don't waste yours. Empty prospects who aren't on the same page as you only hold YOU back. Don't waste the most valuable years of your life on nothing.
   
4. Take charge of your life and put the plan into action.-Prioritze, prioritize, priortize. Some things that were once rulers of your world will now have to take a backseat. Focus on what it is that YOU want out of life and make provisions to get those things rolling. It may mean taking time away from friends, recreations and other things and focusing your attention elsewhere, but in the end you have to think in the long term. Be responsible when it comes to things like your credit, your spending habits, and your dealings with the opposite sex. The decisions you make in this pivotal time are important.
   
5. Don't be afraid to commit- Marriage or commiting in a relationship doesn't mean sacrificing your youth. It just means you've found someone worth sharing it with. Stay youthful by keeping up with friends and activities you love, going out and enjoying life. Commitments should enhace your life not take away from it.
   
6. Settling down is cool. Settling is not.-Not everyone will find the love of their life by age 25, but if you do...great. Good men and women alike are scarce in today's world. So if you find one that you love and share's your game plan...hold on to them. Remember never sacrfice your goals and dreams for the sake of being with someone. We all have pre-existing plans for our lives, that may be compromised by the curveballs of life. But essentially hold on to all the aspirations you have for your life and don't settle down until you found someone who's supportive& cool with the road you're traveling...no matter how long it takes!
   
7. Branch Out- While you may feel like those long standing friends of yours know you inside and out...alot of what you don't even know about yourself is revealed through the new people you meet. Open up your mind and start branching out. Its amazing how much self discovery you'll do when you meet people from different walks of life. Its also healthy to be around people with different views and opinions, and motivated people who are gonna encourage you to move forward in life.
   
8. Be true to you- Nothing great in life has ever been done by a follower. Lead YOUR best life. Hold on to the things you've always wanted to accomplish, and navigate life with this focus. No one wants a better life for you than YOU (and maybe your parents ;). Make YOU and YOUR life a top priority now. The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter won't mind.

Set realistic goals for yourself and stick to them. Life is definitely not easy and there will surely be more roadblocks to come. Know what you want and what it is you want from this world. Grab the reigns and conquer life!!! You've only got one to live....LOVE

Visit this website http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/ for more info on just what the Quarter Life Crisis is and alot of helpful advice and resources to help you get focused!!!!