Lingerie for Comfort of All Things

The spectrum: Sexy lingerie from demure to in-your-face $29.50-$58 at www.victoriassecret.com

With a dip in the markets as low as an unlucky 777 ;(, chances are you and the love of your life might be trading those nights on the town for a little more at home romance. So, utilize those XM channels and IPODS, mix up a couple drinks and don't forget the most important element, a sexy outfit. In an earlier blog, Romancing the Stone, I wrote that not every woman feels comfortable in lingerie, but she should. Like choosing any otherpiece of clothing, staying true to your style, and being conscious of your body (playing up what you like, playing down what you don't), when choosing lingerie is important. Consider things like underwire for support, what underwear shapes look good on your bum, and what silhouette fits you best (flyaways, babydolls, slips?). If you're more conservative in your style of dress or maybe don't feel that comfortable displaying too much skin, teddys, slips, and bustiers are nice. Especially now, with a lot of vintage 50's and 60's inspiration permeating through fashion, demure lingerie is in very high demand. If you're more daring in your fashion approach or love putting your body on display try lacy merrywidows, styles that have cutouts, or a bra/panty combo. Remember confidence is sexy...if you're in an outfit you don't feel comfortable in, you won't look confident or sexy no matter how much skin is showing. Reflect your sex appeal in the lingerie you choose and you'll be effortless ;)...Its nice to explore outside your own box when you're comfortable in your style of lingerie. If you usually choose soft romantic shades like pastels, nudes and whites...get racy in darker tones like black or navy. Once you start feeling comfortable dressing up, if you don't already, you'll find out how much more fun it is to play dress up ;). Flip the coin on these harsh times and look at the bright side, an intimate at home evening with your man in an outfit that he'll love u in....and you'll probably love yourself in more;)...can be really nice...LOVE!!!

I wasn't kidding about the XM Channels ;)!!! If you have satellite radio or your cable provider provides XM or music channels like it...take advantage! Set the tone for the evening by escaping into one of the exotic music channels and a lot of candlelight. My favorites are channels 843 Suite 62, and 872 Caliente ;)...Good music and lingerie go hand in hand...at least I think so ;)....LOVE!!!!

Romancing the Stone

In numerous convos with my girlfriends one subject seems to resonate throughout, sometimes it can just be so hard to get emotion out of the stones we call husbands and boyfriends. Men are just the less emotionally driven sex lets face it. So while their intent may not be malevolent, overtime it can be harder and harder for them to display their amorous affections. They're comfortable, they're complacent....they're MEN! But there are ways to romance those stones and keep those fires burning. They work two-fold; allowing you to shower your man with the love he deserves while giving him reasons to reciprocate it 20 times over, naturally. Forcing emotion out of someone is unnatural and unreal, but everyone needs a boost from time to time, and men are no different. Here are four little things I think you can do that I'm sure will get a rise out of your man...pun definitely intended!

• Mail him a nice card at work- If he's able to receive it that is. Keep the message short and very sweet; something that he can quickly read over and won't risk getting caught reading by his colleagues. Most men are VERY personal about things close to their heart, and that's why they battle with displaying emotions-remember that. If you can't mail your man a card find another way to get a sexy message to him. Fold a note in his towel or in his shirt for the next morning. Put it on the seat of his car or in the back pocket of his jeans. Either way, surprise him with a written display of your love. The element of surprise makes anyone feel special, and guys love to think they're the center of your universe. Let him know you're always thinking about him even when he least expects it! It will elate him, no doubt!
• Buy him a gift for no reason at all- And in this case, less is more. Try to find something small and close to your man's heart and present him with it. Think a nice t-shirt from his favorite sports team, a movie or TV series he loved as a child on DVD etc. Make sure its as unpretentious and personal as possible. Guys actually love things that are directly connected to them. So think small for a big impact.
• Give him a massage- There's a reason after thousands of years this still works. Give your man a nice kneading, but take it up a notch. Think about your spa experiences and reproduce them for him. Light votives and play exotic music. Use a nice massage oil and go to work. Touch everything from his head to his feet. Women are not the only ones who need to be pampered...you want the best from your man, he deserves the best too. Mommies, your Boppy pillow doubles as a nice headrest for a full body massage. Place it at the head of your bed, drape a white or ivory sheet over for a makeshift massage table. Don't forgo any details when massaging your man. He may have had one before, but never one like this...make it an experience for him!
• Indulge his sense-of vision of course. Men are definitely the more visually stimulated of the two sexes, so give him what he wants. Take advantage of what seems to be a booming collection at Victoria's Secret (because Vicky's def has dry spells from time to time) and dress up for him...but really dress up for him! Make yourself as beautiful as you possibly can. Burn the image into his brain for weeks to come by stepping out of your own box. If you usually choose lingeries that are racy and in your face-opt for something sweet & demure and vice versa. Make this evening the only evening its okay to sleep in your make-up. Its a universal theory-guys need to see it to react to it-give him something to react on ;)

Guys are always a conundrum and they will take eternity to completely figure out. Don't be discouraged by their displays of nonchalance or take it personally. Men are men...don't they always need a little boost for something? Balance it out by showering your man with little random acts of am ore'. I guarantee the results will work in your favor. Of course your man has to really love you...even these tips won't work on a jerk! Try this if the rock of your life can sometimes be just that...a stone...trust me there's a soft center in there...you just have to get to it....LOVE!

Not every woman is comfortable parading around in lingerie...but she should be! Look for my upcoming blog on Lingerie for Comfort of All Things where I'll show you my picks for body conscious lingerie you can wow in....LOVE

The Ties that Bind

Sasha & Rayon at Kush NYC
I'm soo excited about getting together this weekend with one of my besties Sasha and her husband Rayon for dinner. We've been close friends ever since highschool and lead very similiar lives. We attended the same University, (Sasha graduated-I didn't :(...WAY TO GO KIZAE!!!!) we wed in the same year, are both housewives, and have sons very close in age. Our husbands have careers in the same field and have even worked on music together!!! Vic and I love getting together with them because we always have the BEST dinner dates. Back when we were both just dating without kids we'd always dine out together. I acquired alot of appreciation for good food and fine restaurants with Sasha and Rayon. Its always important when you're married to keep a grounded, rock solid couple in your social circle. (They don't necessarily have to be married per-say, but they are commited and understand your investments in love.) Sasha and Rayon are definitely that couple for me. I look to them for inspiration and they remind me why I'm grounded in my own marriage. They're a young established couple who are strong in their union and when it comes to marriage and parenting issues they can cope like no one else can. Keeping a positive couple around gives you a good foundation to draw helpful advice from, reinforces the good feelings you have about being married (especially if you're young in today's society), and above all gives you people to share the trials and trips of marriage with, and cope with them in not-so happy times...(they are inevetiable ;0). I'm so grateful to have the Nosworthys, they've helped the Figueroas out in more ways than one!!! And I'm even more grateful to have Sasha my glamorous partner in Desperate Housewifeism...lol...Do you have a couple in your life that knows exactly where you're coming from and what you're dealing with?

Sonic Vision Rocked!!!

Celestial Artwork of the Hayden Planetarium Halls

So last night I spent an evening under the stars with Vic at SonicVision at the Hayden Planetarium. A few blogs back, I wrote about dating out of the box and this was definitely an out-of-the-box experience. The show was AMAZING!!! With music by Moby, Prodigy, Coldplay & Audioslave among others, the physchedelic trip through Moby's musical mind was escapingly exhilerating. Unfortunately I couldn't get any pictures of the show itself...(the planetarium's staff is adament about flash photography) but I encourage you to experience it first hand. The Flaming Lips "Do you Realize" and U2's "Elevation" segments were my favorites. A night under the stars, good music, and a virtual light show that made you feel like you were actually floating in space...this date was definitely unlike any other I've had...Check out this link to the show which is presented every Friday and Saturday night at 7:30 and 8:30 pm with some blackout dates!!!

http://www.amnh.org/rose/dome/

The Foolproof Plan The P.M. Session

So if anyone knows, I do, that raising small children at home is a full-time job, and especially in this fast paced world that we now live in its tough to pack everything all into one day, but so far you've gotten out of the house, exercised, and gotten the kids out, hopefully gotten a couple things done around the house, cooked dinner, and only have a play area to clean up...Its time for the p.m. session

1. Encourage playtime- Roll around with your kids, take another walk, visit a park or pool, get them up, (out if possible) but get them going! Devote your time to just hanging out with your kids, bonding with them and spoiling them with love. Remember that you're lucky to be at home with them!
2. Prepare for the homecoming- About an hour before your hubby gets home clean up & freshen up a little bit. Take your kids into the bathroom with you. Focus their attention by investing in tub crayons that they can draw with but can be rinsed off later. Put on a little make-up...a little concealer and blush goes a long way. Put on something that you feel pretty wearing. Its important that you feel happy and beautiful about yourself when your husband comes home. Try to find little times like these to remember to take time for YOURSELF. It is very important to still try to keep up some of your old routines once you become a mother because that's part of who you are. Also, chances are if you're a stay-at-home mom, you have a husband who works long hours...reward him with a smashing wife upon his arrival;)
3. Finish dinner (if its not done already)- Or warm up what needs to be reheated. Utilize your microwave...it never hurts to serve plates, warm them up and have dinner already on the table ;)
4. Sit Down and have dinner- Put the kids in their highchairs if need be and relax and enjoy dinner. Don't forget to ask how his day was! Dwell in the fact that your kids are exhausted, they had a FULL, EXCITING day, you maintained a CLEAN home, COOKED dinner, hopefully got a couple things done, took a little time for yourself and looked BEAUTIFUL!
5. Bathe the kids and put them to bed- After they've played with daddy and scrubbed their bums its night time, but you have to actually PUT them to bed...make a bedtime routine...tuck them in, turn off all the lights, read a story, give them a bedtime massage, whatever you have to do to get them on a bedtime schedule. Remember getting up early is the key. If your child wakes up at 7 am they'll probably be asleep by 8pm...(this will be so rewarding once shool starts). After the day they had they should drift off early. And you have the rest of the evening to do what you please, be it alone time or qt with your hubby.

With the obvious nature of life this routine couldn't be followed every single day, but I follow it when I can and when I should...if that makes any sense ;)...Developing a routine I would say definitely takes the stress and strain off of getting things done, and in turn I'm happier, I feel accomplished, and not so overwhelmed. Finding a method of spacing things out, knowing what your responsibilites are (what has and doesn't have to get done), and executing them is key for maintaining not only a home but a good dynamic in your marriage. Taking time for yourself and upholding your responsibilites as a housewife should never be in conflict...there will be times when you can't get everything done...but its up to you to find a way to make it work...this is my way and I hope it helps you...LOVE

The Foolproof Plan The A.M. Session

So you've had a baby, entered motherhood, and feel like you've literally been cut in half. The dicotomy of it all... mother/wife vs. diva fashionista. The identity crisis & the adjustment to your new lifestyle and newfound responsibilities can be a little overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you...You can make it work, without losing yourself. As a mother of two, a wife of two years and an overcomer of Post Partum Depression, I definitely don't have all the answers, just those that have worked for me; the answers that helped me find the pieces of myself that were lost, become a better wife to my life partner, a more patient parent, and ultimately happy and comfortable with all aspects of myself..inside & outside of marriage and motherhood. The first order of business was devising a daily schedule that would allow me to hold down a household (in style), maintain a fun-loving relationship with my husband, implement a structure for my kids, and above all make time for myself...and I would love to share it with you...This is the a.m. session

1. Wake up early- The key to the whole plan. If you can't do this, you can't conquer the method. You've got to be up to get things done. But don't just get up alone, get the kids up too. The earlier they get up, the earlier they go to bed....this has to be your focus. If your children are used to sleeping late, the first couple days will be tough, but like anything else, they will adjust. Make it a point not to re-enter your bedroom all day if you don't have to. Make the bed, tidy up, remove whatever you need for the day so that when you return in the evening its strictly for sleep. Make a play area outside of your bedroom for your kids and allow them to play there for the day.


2. Get the kids out for an a.m. walk- Young minds, especially baby minds need to get out and be stimulated. Take your child(ren) out for a walk. Its not only daily exercise for you, but an escape from the house. Find ways to incorporate your baby and his/her gadgets into your daily fitness routine. Climb hills, power walk, push your stroller with extended arms. Remember part of your overall happiness relies on your happiness with self. Remain happy with yourself by exercising guilt free---you don't necessarily have to spend time away from the kids to take care of yourself. Alternate between 3 routes everyday to keep thing variant.
3. Stimulate your kids with educational television- After you've returned from your walk, sit your children down for some tv time. Opt for educational networks like NOGGIN and PBS rather than Nick and Disney where most of the viewing is commercials for toys. Use this time to catch up on some things that you may need to do...if your kids have a hard time focusing sans you...throw a snack into a mix to keep them occupied.
4. Induce sleep post lunch-time- Swap a milk based beverage for juice at lunchtime (my sons love chocolate milk) to bring on the zzzzzz's. The average baby/toddler naps for about 1.5-2hrs daily so this is prime time for you. Also try to make them nap no earlier than 11 but no later than 1. This will ensure no late afternoon napping later. Use this time to cook dinner. In a perfect world, dinner would be coming out of the oven fresh upon your husband's arrival, but obviously you've gotta make it work the best way possible. If you have to cook something immediately before he arrives, cook everything else so that you can confine your babies to a highchair for a short amount of time later if need be. Keep weekday dinners simple....something you can cook in 30 mins. or less. Refrigerate what needs refrigeration, cover and set aside the remainder to be reheated later.

Invest in cookbooks such as Rachel Ray's 30 Minute Get Real Meals or my personal fav, Rachel Ray 365 No Repeats: A Year of Deliciously Different Meals.

Always remember never victimize yourself...Life is all about choices, you make the choice to wed and bear children, you make the choice to take on all that comes with it...you just have to choose a method to make it all work...Victimizing yourself and drowning your husband in a slew of "I've been dealing with ______ all day" will only put a strain on your marriage. Take a step back, realize that you're in it together and there's a method to it all!!! Stay tuned for the PM session and more blogs to come